While the headline of this week’s discourse may appear sensational, anyone with half-senility knows that President Buhari retains his mandate till May 29, 2019, I assure my readers that I have not sacrificed my won’t of circumspection, sobriety, and rigor in my interrogation of social phenomena on the altar of satire. I am conscious that giving in to the temptation to reduce serious matters to caricature will curry more social media engagements from our kin seeking comedic reliefs from the ongoing assault at fueling stations but is sure to deflect from the message that I aim to convey. I will quickly shut down the grandiose conspiratorial delusions of the fanatical IPOB foot soldiers whose demigod, Kanu, first concocted the fable of a theatric clone of President Buhari, Jubril from Sudan, as the new resident-in-chief in Aso Villa. A keen and perplexed reader will then venture to ask why I am continuing with the subject matter of this discourse, having seemed to have repudiated it. At this point, I think it is appropriate to appeal to the logical senses of readers and ask that they follow me as I construct an argument that justifies the posers in this week’s discourse.

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